oldie but a goodie :D

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:






Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:



First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.



Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:



1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.



2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.



So which is it?



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN "A"

a touching story

没有常在心的日子 第24日 晴
今天是这24天以来比较开心的一天，因为我收到消息，常在心终于找到工作，在尖沙咀一间律师行当法律书记。我想她一定很开心，一定会再展现笑靥。以前她常常在我的房间笑，无缘无故也可以笑一场，吃了粒好吃的巧克力也会笑的很大声。那时候我常常希望她安静，让我可以安心工作。但是现在听不到她的笑声，我反而很讨厌静的感觉。
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没有常在心的日子 第42日 晴
我今天在法院门口遇到大脚八，和常在心拍拖的时候，我记得有一次我们吵架了，我很无聊在想，如果上天让我打赢大脚八，但是就会失去常在心，我会怎么选。我当时竟然选了很久。但是如果现在让我选，我宁愿输一万次，也不愿意失去常在心。
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没有常在心的日子 第49日 阴天
我今天午饭时间又去了尖沙咀，又看见常在心在码头吃午餐。我看见她又瘦了，样子很失落。我知道她一定是为了我才会这样。我有时候真的很恨自己把她害成这样。我本来想走过去，但是后来没有。我怕她一看见我又哭，我不想再见到她流泪。
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没有常在心的日子 第152日 晴
得得的找我帮他舅舅打官司，他舅舅涉嫌冒充日本鲍鱼代理商进行诈骗，我帮他尽力争取，结果判了缓刑两年，得得的很开心，不断跟我握手感谢我，他说幸好有我，不然的话他舅舅就会坐牢。不知道为什么，我已经不再很得得的，还开始对这个人有点好感。
2005年1月28 日 晴
最近我的心情平静了很多，今天去阳台收衣服的时候，看见Alfred的车子停在下面，我已经没有以前那么伤心，反而想他也快点放下我们的事情，不要再让自己那么痛苦。alfred，你打赢了很多场官司，在法律界已经很有名气，明天那宗家天大厦失火案，对你来说很重要，你快回去杨足精神吧
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没有常在心的日子 第318日 雨
最近我常常都作同一个梦，我梦见常在心已经原谅了我，围绕在我身边笑。梦始终要醒的，程亮不要再傻了。失去常在心，日子还是要过的，专心工作吧。
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没有常在心的日子 第476日 晴
这期法律人周刊选我作为今年的律政界风云人物，全公司的人都替我高兴。但是不知道为什么，我的心情没想象中那么兴奋，我一个人去了大排档，叫了碗水蟹粥吃。不知道常在心听到了这个消息没有？她的心情会如何呢，会不会替我高兴呢？
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没有常在心的日子 第718日 晴
不知道为什么今天出门之后，不知不觉去了西环村，一个对我来说很熟悉但是又很陌生的地方，我停在那里，不知道自己在等什么。结果等到的是常在心和得得的。我以为我跟常在心分开了，他们两个很快就会在一起，原来不是。我一直都不相信有人可以无条件去爱护一个人，没有任何目的和私心，现在我相信了，得得的做的到，我也希望自己可以做的到。
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常在心：Alfred 其实我们只是普通朋友,你没必要为我做这么多的.
Alfred：放心吧,我明白的,我不会再让你流眼泪了,我这样帮你,其实是想履行对你的承诺.
常在心：什么承诺,
Alfred：你记不记得你和得得立过一张欠单?其实还有一张欠单,是丙方程亮跟甲方常在心立的,是我自己在心中立了.丙方程亮因为做出了一些伤害甲方的事,非常惭愧,如果将来甲方遇到什么困难,丙方务必尽力帮助,此承诺为一生一世,直到任何一方死亡为止.
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没有常在心的日子 第831天 晴
今天我搭的士离开法院的时候,我竟然在车上不断掉眼泪,以前我常常想,如果终有一天打赢大脚八,我一定会开心到掉眼泪.但是我很肯定,我这次的眼泪是为常在心开心而掉.今天我离开常在心的时候,我突然有一股冲动,很想回头跟她说一句,你可不可以原谅我?但我到底也没有这么做.
我这一次去纽约,会去一个月才回来,这个月我不会再看见常在心.算了,不要再跟她提起以前的事了,我不想她像之前那样,失控而泪流满面.我想常在心永远都笑,好像今天在法院走廊笑得那么开心.
原来这两年来,我打的日记加起来有十二万字.我想我这一生打的中文字,加起来也不够我这本日记那么多.希望有一日,常在心原谅我的时候,我们可以一起坐在沙发上,一边吃水蟹粥,一边看这本日记
常在我心 5月30日 晴
我今天第一次上庭,而且第一次打官司就打赢了大脚八,不知道为什么我的心情,竟然没想象中那么兴奋,当我看见Alfred离开的时候,我竟然觉得很空虚.我有股冲动想上前跟他说,我原谅你.但是我到底也没这么做
我真的不明白自己干吗那么执著,其实"我原谅你"这四个字很容易说,但是对我来说这四个字真的很沉重.人们说时间可以弥补伤痕,我希望有一天,我心中的伤痕终于可以痊愈.Alfred,到了美国不要再想呆了而闯红灯.你要好好照顾自己,我很挂念你.
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常在我心 6月8日 晴
Alfred 赶回美国,参加国际法律年会的闭幕礼,我不知道他演讲了没有呢?但是我每天早上经过报摊,都会买一份英文报纸,想看看有没有那个会议的消息,不过看了很多天也没有.今早路过报摊我跟自己说,今天买完,就别在买了,谁知道竟然让我看见alfred的照片.报纸说他的演讲很精彩,说完后全场起立鼓掌,掌声三分钟.其实以前在大学的时候,我已经觉得他很棒,将来一定会成功,今天他终于做到了
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没有常在心的日子 第843天 阴天
我今天一下飞机就会公司,duncan生病了,我代他见两个客人,这是一宗离婚案,是太太提出离婚,丈夫是个会计师,很斯文.这个丈夫情绪很激动,他在我办公室大声骂他老婆"有哪个男人不是外面一个家里一个,我现在知道回家你还想怎么样?-够了黎先生,你说够了吧"我也不知道自己当时为什么那么凶呵斥那个客人,我从来没试过在办公室发那么大的脾气,我看见那个女人不断掉眼泪,我也不知道怎么安慰她.吃饭的时候想起那个男人说的话,觉得这个人真的很可恶,其实自己不也跟他一样这么可恶.有时我会想,我虽然对不起常在心,但是我已经真心知道错了,我已经尽自己的能力去补偿.我真不明白,为什么常在心还这么倔强. 我逐渐清楚了,不明白的人是我,我不明白我对常在心的伤害有多深
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没有常在心的日子 第863 雨
糟了 已经是深夜三点了,还没有想到什么方法可以帮常在心打赢这场官司.我忽然想起那天,在撞车的那条马路上,常在心看着我的眼神.她还是爱我的.不如你鼓起勇气跟她说对不起,她会原谅你的.这样吧,交给天决定.如果明天还下雨的话,我就去跟她表白
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没有常在心的日子 第864天 阴天
今天整天都是阴天,一直都没有下雨,我心想算了,上天叫我不要说,谁直到突然间下雨,我开心的就像小孩子一样的笑,cindy她们谁也不知道我怎么回事.我马上打电话给常在新年约她出来.我告诉她,她那个官司我还没相出方法.但是她也没给我压力,她还叫我放松点慢慢想.她还给我讲了一些她上庭有趣的事,这傻 girl她说有一次当她讲结案陈词的时候,讲着讲着,突然发现自己的裙子没拉拉链,其实也不是真的那么好笑,但是她就笑的好像停不下来,全身都在抖
我终于没听上天的话向常在心表白希望她原谅我.因为我看见她笑得那么开心,我不想再提以前的往事.我怕她哭,我舍不得她哭
程亮,不要想这么多了,现在最重要的就是帮常在心想个办法
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没有常在心的日子 第871天 晴
今天我终于见识到常在德怎么无赖,没想到过了两年,他一点也没改变,可是我跟常在心就已经不同了,常在心比以前成熟了,坚强了.我们也不会像以前那样,为了他哥哥吵架.我开始明白常在心以前的感受,已经有个这么不争气的大哥,还要被男朋友骂,她当时的心情一定很难过.我真的很后悔自己当初为什么不多体谅她一些,不过现在后悔也已经太迟了.我们以前每次吵架,老实说,我真的觉得自己没错,我以为我做任何事都是为常在心好,我是关心她所以才骂她.但是我原来根本就不懂,怎样才是对一个人好.对不起啊常在心,当你真的很爱一个人,无论你已经为她付出了多少,你都会觉得不够,你会很想用一生所有的时间来对她好,不知道我还有没有这个机会呢?
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常在我心 7月15日
今天下班,我又走到西环码头,其实这两年都是这样,自从我和Alfred分开以后,我好像养成了这个习惯,每次经过这里,我都会停下来望着大海,想起那天,,,每次我看到海上有东西飘过,我都会想,会不会是那个刻着常在我心的贝壳漂回来了.我真的很傻,有些东西失去就无法再挽回的,就算真想挽回都已经太晚了,常在我心可能已经沉到海底,也可能已经漂去一个很远的地方
常在我心,你在哪里呢 还会想起我么 我还在不在你的心里啊
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SIX major truths of life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.


2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.


3. And discover that The first truth is a lie.


4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.


5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.


6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.


I apologize about this. I found out that I was an idiot and I needed company!

the hedgehog's dilemma

long long ago there is this young hedgehog.

alone but not lonely
satisfied and happy

den it came across other hedgehog
they spend time together
play together
eat together
laugh together
have fun together

the distance between them got closer and closer

until one day,
the quills of another hedgehog accidently pierce this young hedgehog
this young hedgehog was hurt terribly

from den on,
it decided that it shall not let anyone close to itself again for fear of being pierced again
even though it is still with the other hedgehog
even though it is not alone

it always felt lonely








this is the hedgehog's dilemma

Why the Govt. doesn't tax the rich so much

Our Tax System Explained: "Bar Stool Economics"
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this:
The first four men (The poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all
such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily
beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they
divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They
realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from
everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up
being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be
fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded
to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to
drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to
the tenth man," but he got $10!" "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth
man. "I only saved a dollar, too It's unfair that he got ten times more than
I!" "That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back
when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!" "Wait a minute,"
yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The
system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down
and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of
them for even half of the bill!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how
our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start
drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

http://www.moneymind.sg/2008/07/bar-...s-and-tax.html

Musical taste "defines personality"

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - Fans of classical music and jazz are creative, pop lovers are hardworking and, despite the stereotypes, heavy metal listeners are gentle, creative types who are at ease with themselves.

So says Professor Adrian North of Scotland's Heriot-Watt University who has been studying the links between people's personalities and their choice of music.

"People often define their sense of identity through their musical taste, wearing particular clothes, going to certain pubs, and using certain types of slang," North said.

"It's not surprising that personality should also be related to musical preference."

In what North said was the largest study ever conducted into individuals' musical preference and character, researchers asked 36,518 people from around the world to rate how much they liked 104 different musical styles before taking a personality test.

"Researchers have been showing for decades that fans of rock and rap are rebellious, and that fans of opera are wealthy and well-educated," North said.

"But this is the first time that research has shown that personality links to liking for a wide range of musical styles."

The study concluded that jazz and classical music fans are creative with good self-esteem, although the former are much more outgoing whereas the latter are shy.

Country and western fans were found to be hardworking and shy; rap fans are outgoing and indie lovers lack self-esteem and are not very gentle.

Those who like soul music can take heart as the research concluded they are creative, outgoing, gentle, at ease with themselves and have a high self-esteem.

And if you've ever wondered why people driving expensive sports cars often have music blaring from their vehicle, North could have an explanation.

Those who choose to listen to exciting, punchy music are more likely to be in a higher earning bracket, he says, while those who go for relaxing sounds tend to be lower down the pay scale.

North is still looking for volunteers to take part in the research. Details on http://www.peopleintomusic.com/

(Reporting by Michael Holden; Editing by Steve Addison)