Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
56 worst/best analogies of high school students
Apparently the washingtonpost held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the “worst” analogies they’d encountered in grading their students’ papers over the years. (I place “worst” in quotes because many of these actually strike me as quite witty). The top 25 of these have been circulating around the “Sandra Bullock” (”net”, get it?) recently, but I decided to post all 56 that I was able to find. Here they are, in their order of objective funniness (in my opinion):
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it hadrusted shut.
He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually.
Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.
They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”
Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.
The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.
She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a damn.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
http://www.losteyeball.com/index.php/2007/06/19/56-worstbest-analogies-of-high-school-students/
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it hadrusted shut.
He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually.
Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.
They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”
Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.
The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.
She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a damn.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
http://www.losteyeball.com/index.php/2007/06/19/56-worstbest-analogies-of-high-school-students/
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Truth!
***QUESTION***
Greetings,
I'm considering investing in your program, but I
have a question for you before I do. Essentially,
I'm no longer looking to hook up with women left
and right. In fact, I think I've met "the one,"
but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months
(during part of which time she was away at school,
but we kept in regular contact, at first through
e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the
sense that she's very guarded about relationships.
She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the
many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore
very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in
the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a
couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things
were moving forward, and then she backpedaled;
perhaps she "got spooked," and took a big step
back to protect herself. Most recently, we were
out for the first time since she finished school,
and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was
getting the green light all night: at a movie, I
slipped my arm around her and she leaned in,
resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at
a club for a band, and when we were ready to
leave, she reached across the table and held my
hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it
was pretty chilly, and when she complained about
the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She
responded by stepping into it: she pressed her
face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full
body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to
shoulder and everything in between. When we got
back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she
shied away such that it would have been
*extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact,
I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow
maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest,
and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I
said above, I think she got a little spooked. She
specifically said that she thought the
relationship could've evolved into something
romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure
why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe
it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I
still believe she's the one, and I've told her
that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's
keen on still spending time together (for her, for
now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program
can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,
why?
Thanks,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, sit down for this.
Hold on to something tight, because I'm going
to yell at you for your own damn good...
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON!
THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE
SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS
BAG!
If you were closer, I'd slap you myself.
DUH!
Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't
usually get so worked up. That makes three
exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even
started lambasting you proper yet. (What is
lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it?
It's such a great word. I really should look and
find out.)
OK, I'm calm.
NOW, let's have a little talk here...
The reason why this kind of situation bothers
me is at least twofold:
1) Because I've been in it myself about a
bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be
screwing something up and not even realize that
you're doing it.
2) I can tell from your email that you actually
like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a
fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working
so hard against yourself... and screwing this up
when it's right there in front of you for the
taking.
Before I tell you all the reasons why you most
DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating
Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers
that might help you STOP screwing this up in the
meantime.
OK, back to the basics.
Let's take this from the top...
At the very beginning of your email, you said
something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what
was going on here...
You said "...I think I've met "the one," but
I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've
been pursuing her for about five months..."
You're having trouble making her REALIZE this?
You've been PURSUING her?
Do you assume that at some point within the
NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one
day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because
you like to chase her around and tell her how you
feel about her?
Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you
that you don't get it... blah blah blah.
But for some reason I feel like I just have to
lay things out for you directly.
Look, man... the reason why she's telling you
that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into
something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT.
She doesn't FEEL IT.
Get it?
SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT!
She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you.
And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by
chasing her around and telling her how you "feel"
about her.
Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE.
You need to go and get yourself an IN-DEPTH
education on the topic of creating ATTRACTION.
Go read my new online eBook "Attraction Isn't A
Choice".
This book will take you "behind the scenes" and
show you how to communicate with women in a way
that TRIGGERS the attraction... instead of trying
to be a "nice guy" and CONVINCE her to feel it for
you.
You can download it right now, and be reading
it within a few minutes. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook/
Now, you're acting like most guys who think things
like: "If she only knew how I felt about her,
she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing
her, she'll eventually see how much I love her"
etc.
Well guess what?
AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY.
Right now you are playing what is referred to
as a "losing game".
Think of it this way. If you stop on the way
home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket,
you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be
lucky one day and win big.
But your chances SUCK.
You're probably going to lose a LOT more than
you win over time.
Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a
chance. But you probably won't. And I mean
probably with a BIG P.
I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being
a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up
myself).
When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:
-Pursue
-Cling
-Share "feelings"
-Act submissive
-Seek approval
-Pine away
This is WUSSY behavior.
It's distinctly FEMININE in nature.
When guys act like this, they're getting in
touch with their inner little girl (and she needs
a spanking in the worst way).
And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part?
When you act like this around a woman (and
ESPECIALLY a "goal oriented" woman who's probably
smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel
the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you.
Women aren't attracted to Wussies.
This is a UNIVERSAL truth.
And by the way that you describe your
relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO
BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!
She's trying, man.
And she probably KNOWS that you'd be a great
guy to be in a relationship with... but she just
doesn't FEEL IT... so she holds back. I'm sure she
WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I'll
bet you money.
Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice
friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to
turn into something.
You're probably beyond help with this
particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few
ideas JUST IN CASE...
1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do),
and stop spending so much time with her.
2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and
make sure she knows about it.
3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don't
tell her how you "feel about her" anymore. Stop it.
4) Accept that you will probably be friends
with her forever, and start acting that way.
5) Don't try to kiss her or be physical with
her at ALL anymore until you understand what you're
doing.
Remember, what you're doing ISN'T WORKING.
If you do these things that I've described, you
will probably have the best chance of turning this
around.
NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you
asked me about in your email... GET MY ADVANCED
DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM.
You need a new perspective on this entire
situation. And you need a new perspective on
women.
You're obviously a smart guy, and once you
begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women, you'll change how you behave COMPLETELY.
Total transformation.
And the best part is that you won't be changing
how you act and just "faking it". You'll change
how you act because you GET IT.
It's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that
magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS
TO FEEL.
And it's also amazing to know exactly how to
get physical with a woman without having to deal
with the awkward "shy away from the kiss"
situation that you described in your email.
I guarantee that when you listen to and/or
watch my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program,
it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and
act around women. Period, end of story.
Here, let me give you the hard- sell...
I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way.
I've been right where you are many, many, MANY
times in my life. It sucks. I know it does.
The reason why my program will be good for you
is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach what
I do.
And because I also believe that you should only
have to pay for something that you find value in,
I'll send it to you:
-At my risk.
-In a plain package so your mom doesn't know
what's inside.
-Free for you to try for a MONTH.
I'm betting that once you have it in your hot
little hands that I couldn't pry it away from you
with a crowbar.
I'm serious.
OK, enough of me trying to convince you of
something you already know. Go watch the newest
video preview clips and get it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
Now repeat after me: I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE
A WUSSY AGAIN!
If you want to make your dating life a whole
lot better and easier, then stop and think about
your behavior... and resolve right now to stop
acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life.
Being "nice" and "accommodating" and
"understanding" is great for friendships and
social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for
ATTRACTION.
An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a
guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a
guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't
want a little boy that she can train and raise.
An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.
This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But
it's the truth. These submissive qualities will
only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES
DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND
CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR!
And my guess is that this isn't the kind of
woman that you're looking for.
If you want to stop ACTING like a WUSSY you
need to eliminate your INNER WUSS for good and
build a rock-solid confidence level that is
NATURALLY attractive to women. So you also
need to take a look at my "Deep Inner Game" program.
This program will eliminate inner challenges
like insecurity, fear and anxiety that are holding
you back from TRUE success with women. And as long
as you have those kinds of fears you're gonna
continue acting like a needy wussbag.
So go take a look at some of the video clips
from this program here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame/
Now I've explained some of the important
qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself
if you want to attract women... and keep them
attracted. Now get out there and start working
on it.
...and if you're reading this right now and you
haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online
eBook "Double Your Dating", I have something to
tell you...
My eBook is the foundation for EVERYTHING that
I teach in these newsletters, my Advanced Dating
Techniques, and other programs.
And you need to read my Double Your Dating
ebook, because it contains a lot of valuable
material that sets the stage for everything else.
It's here, so go download it now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
Like I said, if you're just starting out, my
ebooks and programs will show you things that
you've never seen or heard before. You'll
get a completely new perspective on what it
takes to be successful with women and dating.
If you're already successful, my programs
will make you BETTER. There are a lot of very
advanced concepts included... and you'll get
to hear me interview guys who are AMAZING
with women in my Advanced Series. In other
words, no matter where you are with women,
you'll improve.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Do NOT forget to add me to your email
whitelist. It's the best way to make sure you
get my dating tips each week. You don't want
to miss out on learning the secrets to attraction,
approaching women, and more.
Greetings,
I'm considering investing in your program, but I
have a question for you before I do. Essentially,
I'm no longer looking to hook up with women left
and right. In fact, I think I've met "the one,"
but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months
(during part of which time she was away at school,
but we kept in regular contact, at first through
e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the
sense that she's very guarded about relationships.
She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the
many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore
very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in
the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a
couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things
were moving forward, and then she backpedaled;
perhaps she "got spooked," and took a big step
back to protect herself. Most recently, we were
out for the first time since she finished school,
and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was
getting the green light all night: at a movie, I
slipped my arm around her and she leaned in,
resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at
a club for a band, and when we were ready to
leave, she reached across the table and held my
hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it
was pretty chilly, and when she complained about
the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She
responded by stepping into it: she pressed her
face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full
body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to
shoulder and everything in between. When we got
back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she
shied away such that it would have been
*extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact,
I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow
maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest,
and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I
said above, I think she got a little spooked. She
specifically said that she thought the
relationship could've evolved into something
romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure
why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe
it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I
still believe she's the one, and I've told her
that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's
keen on still spending time together (for her, for
now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program
can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,
why?
Thanks,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, sit down for this.
Hold on to something tight, because I'm going
to yell at you for your own damn good...
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON!
THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE
SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS
BAG!
If you were closer, I'd slap you myself.
DUH!
Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't
usually get so worked up. That makes three
exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even
started lambasting you proper yet. (What is
lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it?
It's such a great word. I really should look and
find out.)
OK, I'm calm.
NOW, let's have a little talk here...
The reason why this kind of situation bothers
me is at least twofold:
1) Because I've been in it myself about a
bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be
screwing something up and not even realize that
you're doing it.
2) I can tell from your email that you actually
like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a
fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working
so hard against yourself... and screwing this up
when it's right there in front of you for the
taking.
Before I tell you all the reasons why you most
DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating
Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers
that might help you STOP screwing this up in the
meantime.
OK, back to the basics.
Let's take this from the top...
At the very beginning of your email, you said
something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what
was going on here...
You said "...I think I've met "the one," but
I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've
been pursuing her for about five months..."
You're having trouble making her REALIZE this?
You've been PURSUING her?
Do you assume that at some point within the
NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one
day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because
you like to chase her around and tell her how you
feel about her?
Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you
that you don't get it... blah blah blah.
But for some reason I feel like I just have to
lay things out for you directly.
Look, man... the reason why she's telling you
that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into
something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT.
She doesn't FEEL IT.
Get it?
SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT!
She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you.
And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by
chasing her around and telling her how you "feel"
about her.
Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE.
You need to go and get yourself an IN-DEPTH
education on the topic of creating ATTRACTION.
Go read my new online eBook "Attraction Isn't A
Choice".
This book will take you "behind the scenes" and
show you how to communicate with women in a way
that TRIGGERS the attraction... instead of trying
to be a "nice guy" and CONVINCE her to feel it for
you.
You can download it right now, and be reading
it within a few minutes. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook/
Now, you're acting like most guys who think things
like: "If she only knew how I felt about her,
she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing
her, she'll eventually see how much I love her"
etc.
Well guess what?
AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY.
Right now you are playing what is referred to
as a "losing game".
Think of it this way. If you stop on the way
home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket,
you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be
lucky one day and win big.
But your chances SUCK.
You're probably going to lose a LOT more than
you win over time.
Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a
chance. But you probably won't. And I mean
probably with a BIG P.
I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being
a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up
myself).
When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:
-Pursue
-Cling
-Share "feelings"
-Act submissive
-Seek approval
-Pine away
This is WUSSY behavior.
It's distinctly FEMININE in nature.
When guys act like this, they're getting in
touch with their inner little girl (and she needs
a spanking in the worst way).
And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part?
When you act like this around a woman (and
ESPECIALLY a "goal oriented" woman who's probably
smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel
the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you.
Women aren't attracted to Wussies.
This is a UNIVERSAL truth.
And by the way that you describe your
relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO
BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!
She's trying, man.
And she probably KNOWS that you'd be a great
guy to be in a relationship with... but she just
doesn't FEEL IT... so she holds back. I'm sure she
WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I'll
bet you money.
Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice
friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to
turn into something.
You're probably beyond help with this
particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few
ideas JUST IN CASE...
1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do),
and stop spending so much time with her.
2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and
make sure she knows about it.
3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don't
tell her how you "feel about her" anymore. Stop it.
4) Accept that you will probably be friends
with her forever, and start acting that way.
5) Don't try to kiss her or be physical with
her at ALL anymore until you understand what you're
doing.
Remember, what you're doing ISN'T WORKING.
If you do these things that I've described, you
will probably have the best chance of turning this
around.
NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you
asked me about in your email... GET MY ADVANCED
DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM.
You need a new perspective on this entire
situation. And you need a new perspective on
women.
You're obviously a smart guy, and once you
begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women, you'll change how you behave COMPLETELY.
Total transformation.
And the best part is that you won't be changing
how you act and just "faking it". You'll change
how you act because you GET IT.
It's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that
magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS
TO FEEL.
And it's also amazing to know exactly how to
get physical with a woman without having to deal
with the awkward "shy away from the kiss"
situation that you described in your email.
I guarantee that when you listen to and/or
watch my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program,
it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and
act around women. Period, end of story.
Here, let me give you the hard- sell...
I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way.
I've been right where you are many, many, MANY
times in my life. It sucks. I know it does.
The reason why my program will be good for you
is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach what
I do.
And because I also believe that you should only
have to pay for something that you find value in,
I'll send it to you:
-At my risk.
-In a plain package so your mom doesn't know
what's inside.
-Free for you to try for a MONTH.
I'm betting that once you have it in your hot
little hands that I couldn't pry it away from you
with a crowbar.
I'm serious.
OK, enough of me trying to convince you of
something you already know. Go watch the newest
video preview clips and get it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
Now repeat after me: I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE
A WUSSY AGAIN!
If you want to make your dating life a whole
lot better and easier, then stop and think about
your behavior... and resolve right now to stop
acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life.
Being "nice" and "accommodating" and
"understanding" is great for friendships and
social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for
ATTRACTION.
An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a
guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a
guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't
want a little boy that she can train and raise.
An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.
This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But
it's the truth. These submissive qualities will
only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES
DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND
CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR!
And my guess is that this isn't the kind of
woman that you're looking for.
If you want to stop ACTING like a WUSSY you
need to eliminate your INNER WUSS for good and
build a rock-solid confidence level that is
NATURALLY attractive to women. So you also
need to take a look at my "Deep Inner Game" program.
This program will eliminate inner challenges
like insecurity, fear and anxiety that are holding
you back from TRUE success with women. And as long
as you have those kinds of fears you're gonna
continue acting like a needy wussbag.
So go take a look at some of the video clips
from this program here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame/
Now I've explained some of the important
qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself
if you want to attract women... and keep them
attracted. Now get out there and start working
on it.
...and if you're reading this right now and you
haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online
eBook "Double Your Dating", I have something to
tell you...
My eBook is the foundation for EVERYTHING that
I teach in these newsletters, my Advanced Dating
Techniques, and other programs.
And you need to read my Double Your Dating
ebook, because it contains a lot of valuable
material that sets the stage for everything else.
It's here, so go download it now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
Like I said, if you're just starting out, my
ebooks and programs will show you things that
you've never seen or heard before. You'll
get a completely new perspective on what it
takes to be successful with women and dating.
If you're already successful, my programs
will make you BETTER. There are a lot of very
advanced concepts included... and you'll get
to hear me interview guys who are AMAZING
with women in my Advanced Series. In other
words, no matter where you are with women,
you'll improve.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Do NOT forget to add me to your email
whitelist. It's the best way to make sure you
get my dating tips each week. You don't want
to miss out on learning the secrets to attraction,
approaching women, and more.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
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