JUST FOR LAUGHS - Diary of a man...
1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I'm unable to remember what I chose.


2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.


3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.


4. Impotence: It's nature's way of saying 'no hard feelings'.


5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop'; unless they are used together.


6. Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.


7. There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.


8. Virginity can be cured.


9. Virginity is not dignity; it's a lack of opportunity.


10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.


12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.


13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss; only down under.


14. A newly married couple were happy with the 'whole thing'. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing!


15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't sucks


16. Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.


17. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.


18. Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus; it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.


19. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!!